good morning starshine!

it's not what I need

2012-02-27T22:05:00.000Z

As I scanned these pictures I felt like reading my diary out in public, but I don't have anything else to post. So, here you go.

and this feels like common madness

2012-02-23T22:18:00.000Z

"but I've used all my chances. And a few after that"

But it isn't. This is the kind of love that makes me raw. Makes me hurt. Makes me sore. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Who could ever thought I'd feel this way.

Photos by Gedas Nakrošis

Please listen to this:
Olivia, In A Separate Bed

hands down, I'm too proud for love

2012-01-21T18:25:00.000Z

But with eyes shut, it's you I'm thinking off
You must listen to this.

Photos by my precious friend Justina Česnauskytė.

let the seasons begin

2012-01-03T19:42:00.001Z

If I was young, I'd flee this town
I'd bury my dreams underground

bit of sunlight

2011-12-28T16:30:00.000Z

I can't explain how happy this made me feel.

lovesong

2011-12-23T12:41:00.001Z

How can something sound so goddamn beautiful?

2011-12-20T20:10:00.000Z

She flew across the sea
we talked on a small screen
a cubism dream
the most beautiful squares I'd ever seen

---

Too bad I'm the who did the flying.
Now I lay here wallowing in my helplessness and sorrow

fortune

2011-12-19T19:57:00.000Z

the fortune cast a curse

I knew

Another postcard. To Malaysia this time! Oh and it's not black and white, this guy in the post office scanned it wrong.

reindeer time

2011-12-17T22:32:00.000Z

Like stubborn boys with big green eyes

We'll see everything

In a timid shade of the autumn leaves

And the buzzard's wing

if I had a boat

2011-12-13T17:45:00.000Z

I would sail to you,
hold you in my arms,
ask you to be true.

A postcard to USA for a lovely lady who likes knitting.

lengths

2011-12-06T21:30:00.001Z

Būna tokių dienų, kai per valandą pasileidžia visas pragaras, kurį taip ilgai barikadavai savy. Sugriūna visos mažos sienos, kurias taip kruopščiai mūrijai po vieną miniatiūrinę plytelę. Lyg potvynis, lyg audros. Nusineša visus savęs įtikinėjimus, apgaudinėjimus, maldavimus. Ir tada lieki stovėti viena, nuoga ant to didelio jūros kranto, kaip sugriuvęs miestas. Bandai rinkti šukes, bet jos per mažos ir jų per daug.

Tell me where you're goin', what is goin' wrong
I felt you leavin', before you'd even gone
Hold me now, never ever hold me again
No more talk can take me from this pain I'm in
pain I'm in

innocent bones

2011-11-30T09:39:00.001Z

(old diary page)

My quiet morning is filled with white day-light pouring out of the windows, silent music playing sweetly, scent of peanut-butter and jam sandwiches coming from the kitchen, where my room-mate made breakfast and sleepy mood as I keep quiet as a mouse in order not to wake my other room-mate.

And even the last of the blue-eyed babies know

That the burning man is the colour of the end of the day

And how every tongue that gets bit always has another word to say

(Iron & Wine)

this old dark machine

2011-11-22T15:27:00.001Z

I think everything is already written in the picture. I could still go on talking about how really wonderful the Alexandra palace is, but I don't think I would be interesting.

Oh and don't forget to check out the background music! Although I discovered James Vincent McMorrow just recently I'm already falling.

early in the morning

2011-11-22T13:11:00.001Z

I love my friend.

Whatever could it be, that has brought me to this loss?

2011-11-13T20:13:00.001Z

ašarų pakalnė... kodėl aš save vis dar apgaudinėju?

a day in a life

2011-11-12T19:42:00.001Z

I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grave
And though the news was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph

He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the light had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was from the House of Lords.

cornerstone

2011-11-11T22:46:00.001Z

Sooo... I'm off today and tomorrow and finally starting to do something here in London. Today me and the lovely room-mate Berta strolled back and forward Oxford street ( we were looking for a bank and then for a nice place to have coffee or tea). Later on we went to Camden Town. Believe me when I say I love it. I brought back some goods! Can't wait to read them!

I moved to the coast, under a mountain, swam in the ocean, slept on my own

2011-11-08T00:42:00.000Z

Soft music and pictures hanging on the wall. Seven different people looking at three girls. Yellow lights of the room and traffic noises outside in the street. Simple life of two art students and one chambermaid wannabe. I love it so much, I can't explain it.
Next year hopefully I'm going to be like them. Just with projects piling up and still procrastinating. All of those thoughts still going circles in my head. The difference is that my troubled head would be resting on a shoulder of a loved one.

why in the night sky are the lights hung?

2011-10-31T21:33:00.000Z

me by lovely Justina x x x

help yourself

2011-10-18T22:52:00.000+01:00

music

Photos by Justina Cesnauskyte

40 days dream

2011-10-14T00:07:00.000+01:00

I've been sleeping for forty days and
Yeah, I know that I'm sleeping cause this dream's too amazing
She got gold doorknobs where her eyes used to be, yeah
One turn and I learned what it really means to see, yeah

Photos by Laima Pučėtaitė

gifts

2011-10-12T12:27:00.000+01:00

So, I've been living in London for a couple of days now and it's the perfect time to send some postcards back home.

evening thoughts

2011-09-30T21:18:00.001+01:00

leave your worry on the doorstep

2011-09-28T15:35:00.000+01:00

This song started just when I was thinking of a title. Billie Holiday is lovely!

Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worry on the doorstep
Just direct your feet
To the sunny side of the street

Sketch:

look alive, starshine

2011-09-25T18:48:00.000+01:00

Hello! I honestly don't know what to write here. I've been so worried (and I still am, of course) about leaving everything and moving to UK. I can't explain why. but I don't want to do that anymore. Naturally, when I make up my mind it's a little bit too late. Tickets are waiting to be used, things to be packed.

How'd you find yourself if you never roam?

But I still don't know these answers. Maybe someday.

2011-09-13T18:00:00.000+01:00

(old drawing, new ideas)

who's afraid of the big, bad wolf,

the big, bad wolf,

the big, bad wolf?

Who's

afraid

of the big,

bad wolf?

Not me

seconds

2011-09-11T20:05:00.000+01:00

couple pictures of me laughing

I'm trying to enjoy every moment of time spent here at home.
Someone special is really helping to achieve that. x x x x x

fall creek boys choir

2011-09-06T16:18:00.000+01:00

As I promised, the post about my summer job.

When I sat down and started to think what to write, nothing, absolutely nothing, came to my mind. And this kind of makes me sad. On the other hand, the job was very hard, tiring and depressing. Yes, waitresses are depressed from all the smiling and polite chit-chats, abusive owners, rude clients, who think they're right all the time.

Above there are views that could be seen as you stand around the bar. The only thing I never got used to was the environment. The pine forest on the right and the impressive Curonian Lagoon on your left. But these are just quick impressions made to pass the time. Do not judge poor perspectives and foggy unfinished parts.

Lastly, I have to complain about the lack of free-time and inability to produce any artwork except this small moleskine sketch. I really tried. Sorry.

But now I have a whole month of leisure time.

try a little tenderness

2011-09-01T10:08:00.000+01:00

For those who do not know me, this long absence may look obscure, but I was working. Sorry, the job came out of nowhere I didn't even have the time to write down something here. I'll tell more in the next post, because now I have to get ready for some things.

I'm posting some pictures of my high school graduation ceremony. Such happy and depressed couple of hours.

from USA

2011-07-21T12:52:00.000+01:00

Lovely postcard from Pam.

I don't care what nobody says, I'm gonna be his lover

2011-07-14T17:42:00.000+01:00

in the hot, hot rays

2011-07-14T16:54:00.000+01:00

I've downloaded the first Fleet Foxes EP just now (I know, shame on me). I would have never thought their sound was so different. But it's not the thing I'm writing about here. Yesterday I brought a new book, which I've been eying for a long time.

I've also received a postcard from the lovely Everybody's Starry-eyed. Thank you so much! Definitely lit up my day.

your head caught in a waking dream

2011-07-12T18:06:00.000+01:00

She left a week to roam
Your protector's coming home
Keep your secrets with you, girl
Safe from the outside world

You walk along the stream
Your head caught in a waking dream
Your protector's coming home

Trying out some new things and a daily paint-at-least-one-small-thing plan. I allow you to punch me if I fail to do so. My techniques are rotting and my mother is freaking out. It's a win-win plan.

I'm losing myself

2011-07-09T09:57:00.000+01:00

(photo)

This song is stuck in my head. Oh and as you can see, I'm back. The visit wasn't too long and I'm happy about that. But not so happy in general. Oh well...

(photo)

I'm a slow mover
I'm the best-laid plans
and alone at the end of the day

I just sit with my head in my hands

going away

2011-06-29T09:08:00.000+01:00

Yeah, I'm going to my grandmother's. Don't know exactly for how long. I don't know if 'see you later' is suitable here, but you don't mind, do you? Bye! x x x x

2011-06-26T12:18:00.000+01:00

I'm not the kind of fool
who's gonna sit and sing to you,
about stars, girl.
But last night I looked up into
the dark half of the blue,
and they'd gone backwards.

Something in your magnetism
must have pissed them off,
forcing them to get an early night.

I have been searching from
the bottom to the top,
for such a sight
as the one i caught when I saw your...

Fingers dimmed in the lights
like your used to being told that you're trouble
and I spent all night
stuck on the puzzle

Nobody I asked
knew how he came to be the one
to whom you surrendered

Any man who wasn't led away
into the other room
stood pretending

But something in your magnetism
hadn't just made him drop
whoever's hand it was that he was holding.

I have been searching
from the bottom to the top,
for such a sight
as the one I caught when I saw your...

Fingers dimmed in the lights,
like your used to being told that you're trouble,
and I spent all night,
stuck on the puzzle.

I tried to swim to the side,
but my feet got caught in the middle,
and I thought I'd seen the light,
but oh, no.
I was just stuck on the puzzle.
Stuck on the puzzle.

(Alex Turner - Stuck on the puzzle)

"Oh you can't help that, we're all mad here"

2011-06-25T17:48:00.000+01:00

Random doodle transformed to bookmark. If you still didn't get it, it's the white rabbit from Alice in the Wonderland. And of course, my favourite quotation from the book. (Haruki Murakami's novel "Firefly" in the background. It's like I want to be miserable today.)

Also I'm cleaning up my romantic - poetic messes.

Nostalgic state of mind

2011-06-22T19:25:00.000+01:00

( Cascade/waterfall braids are so precious. And it's very easy to learn how to do them.)

This blog will not turn into some kind of fashion diary, I promise! I already started some small drawings and finished concepts of bigger ones. Be prepared. xx

2011-06-11T12:55:00.000+01:00

After all is said and done I feel the same
All that I hoped would change within me stayed
Like a huddled moonlit exile, on the shore
Warming his hands a thousand years ago

I walk with others in me, yearning to get out
Claw at my skin and gnash their teeth and shout
One of them wants only to be someone you'd admire
One would as soon just throw you on the fire

After all is said and after all is done
God only knows which of them I'll become

(Fleet Foxes - Someone you'll admire)

I already started writing love-letters to you

2011-06-11T00:22:00.000+01:00

Photos by the lovely photographer .

promises, swear them to the sky

2011-06-05T20:19:00.000+01:00

The cutest present I've ever got! Thank you!

We lie beneath the stars at night
Our hands gripping each other tight
You keep my secrets hope to die
Promises, swear them to the sky

afternoon outside

2011-06-05T13:26:00.000+01:00

(I'm the one freakishly pale on the right. Hello!)

from Los Angeles and Canberra

2011-06-04T13:02:00.000+01:00

Wonderful postcard from Laura, who lives in Los Angeles. Definitely made my day. Thank you very much, sweetheart!

This postcard is from Avril, who lives in Canberra. I'm grateful for this lovely card.

postcard to Germany

2011-05-30T20:00:00.000+01:00

Oh well, I'm having a bad day. I don't care.

I need my own camera, seriously

2011-05-24T19:16:00.000+01:00

(oh, hello kitty!)

So these are some photos from my latest visit to grandmother's. I had to finish a painting for art exam. Here's a sneak-peak. I'll scan it when I get it back, I promise!

these days

2011-05-14T16:43:00.000+01:00

Blood Pressures; Baby Darling Doll Face Honey; Brothers;

XX; Wounded Rhymes; Wolfmother;

Kiss Each Other Clean; Get Behind Me Satan; Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon;

Rubber Soul; Fire Like This; Helplessness Blues

Something I've been up to these few weeks. Some of my all time favourites, you can try to guess them.

but it's hard to be hard I guess

2011-05-14T08:21:00.000+01:00

I never get tired of drawing myself, obviously. And I seriously need to learn some human anatomy (hence the nose, it's horrible). I'll start painting something serious soon, I promise.

postcard to Australia

2011-05-10T12:59:00.000+01:00

one silly dream came true

2011-05-06T19:16:00.000+01:00

Just registered to Postcrossing ! I was just browsing some forums and saw a thread about this. Fell in love with the idea instantly. I mean literally, fell really hard.
I already have my first address. Tomorrow I'm going to draw a postcard and send it, if there will be enough time. The worst case - on Monday. It's going to be to Australia. How amazing is that?

I'll keep you posted x

(totally unrelated picture, just for fun)

why don't you do right?

2011-05-06T12:50:00.000+01:00

Hello! I'm very sorry that I'm such a lazy blogger. But I've been busy and sad these days so I forgive myself.

Finally I scanned my lovely ballerinas. There is going to be one more painting which I hope will turn out better looking. More ballet of course!

See you soon xx

I am yours now

2011-04-24T21:20:00.000+01:00

I really thought I have settled into this cool state of finally moving on. But no, not really. I tried to deny it, that got me nowhere. Even found new crush, who awqwardly looks very much like you. And now at this point I'm confused. I wanted him because he looked similar or because I slipped and got nostalgic. Or maybe (the least possible option) I got interested in someone new.
So who do I really want?
Peace of mind, that's for sure.

any old lie will do

2011-04-09T15:21:00.000+01:00

"Lie to me if you will at the top of Barringer Hill. Tell me anything you want, any old lie will do.

Call me back to you."

cat's chance

2011-04-08T15:24:00.000+01:00

~~What chance do I have? A cat's chance in hell. I better take it.~~

I've been reading a lot about Art Nouveau lately. Guess it shows, huh?

some news

2011-04-05T17:44:00.000+01:00

(two of my favourite portfolio features)

Hi! So today is the day I sent my portfolio to University of Dundee (well exactly Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design - DJCAD) with great expectations. Now I'm just really happy about it because this portfolio making (scanning, correcting, clearing, cropping, measuring etc) was starting to get on my nerves.

May is going to be the month of answers. Can't wait!

just peaches and cream

2011-03-28T19:27:00.000+01:00

My life just couldn't get better. It's peachy now.
Kiko Mizuhara on the right.

norwegian wood

2011-03-27T15:01:00.000+01:00

Two beauties.
Kiko Mizuhara, Rinko Kikuchi.

2011-03-21T19:25:00.000Z

Happy birthday, mommy!

for those out there reading Haruki Murakami's "1Q84"

2011-03-20T12:28:00.000Z

It's a Barnum and Bailey world,
Just as phony as it can be,
But it wouldn't be make believe
If you believed in me.

I just cannot get over the fact I bought the book (first one in the series, Lithuanian translation is kind of slow). I'm loving it already! The association with one of my favourite jazz standards is perfect. It captures the somehow ironic mood beautifully.

Although I prefer Ella's version but this seems more suitable here.
Off I go to make so tea and continue my reading. Have a nice day!

bearsome

2011-03-07T20:15:00.000Z

Cadmium lemon

2011-02-27T15:18:00.000Z

I'm proudly presenting this week's colour - cadmium lemon. It's really pretty bright colour. Somehow presenting the long-awaited spring. The main difference from other yellows is the slight green undertone. I myself don't use this colour very often, so this week is going to a challenge.

Carmencita

2011-02-26T14:42:00.000Z

This post can be concluded to five words: Spanish, tattoos, summer, Devendra Banhart.

I had the conversation about what kind of tattoos look best with my friends the other day. We all agreed that flowers look very pretty on girls from Latin America. What do you think?

And this song is sheer summer!